Ok, so I’m being a little facetious with the title statement of this post. I have to deal with a great deal of BS at my job. I work as an office assistant in a parking office. On a college campus. A trades college no less.
I have to deal with people at the window, on an intercom, I get to take most of the phone calls and emails. I decided to post an exchange I had with one of these delightful creatures via email. This one is a student.
To call this guy a “douche” would be an insult to douches everywhere. They, at least, are useful. They exist to serve a purpose.
This idiot does not.
I have changed the names and taken out any identifying parts and replaced them with my generic capital letter words. Anything in brackets ( ) will be my own comments. Believe me, I have plenty of commentary that I was unable to pass on to this idiot because it would be unprofessional and may in fact come back to bite me later.
From: Idiot [im-an-idiot@idiotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 04, 2010 9:57 AM
To: MY WORK EMAIL
Subject:
Hello. I will be attending SCHOOL from Feb 8 through to mid April. I would like to purchase a monthly pass but am having trouble locating rates. Am I able to use the new lot (underground) and if so what are the rates and how to I pay? (HOW TO YOU PAY? WELL, I TON’T KNOW) Can I do it online yada yada. (YOU FORGOT THE 3RD YADA. JEEZ, IF YOU’RE GOING TO RIP OFF A POP CULTURE SAYING, DO IT RIGHT.)
Thanks
Idiot
From: MY WORK
Date: Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:53:29 -0700
To: Idiot<im-an-idiot@idiotmail.com>
Subject: RE:
Good morning; (MY ATTEMPT TO BE COURTEOUS. WHAT A MISTAKE THAT WAS)
All passes for our lots must be purchased in person at the parking office with a valid SCHOOL Id and credit card.
Unfortunately, (SEE, I EXPRESSED REGRET. WHICH I DIDN’T EVEN FEEL. I WAS FAKING IT, AND LIKE ALL MEN, HE DIDN’T KNOW) we do not sell passes for the underground to students. Staff are the only ones eligible for a pass in that lot. There is daily parking on the top level for 12$ a day.
We have P1 and P3 passes available however if you would be interested in purchasing one. (I GAVE HIM OTHER OPTIONS. I DIDN’T JUST SHATTER HIS DREAM AND WALK AWAY.) We do sell our passes on a calendar month basis.
Thank you;
MY FABULOUS SIGNATURE
From: Idiot [mailto:im-an-idiot@idiotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 04, 2010 11:06 AM
To: MY WORK
Subject: Re:
So in person…credit card? (IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLETE SENTENCE? THIS GUY’S ELOQUENCE IS UNPARALLELED ISN’T IT?) Can we pay cash? So hang on a second (I’M HANGING ON, EAGERLY ANTICIPATING HIS NEXT STATEMENT)..staff have the entire parkade? There isn’t enough teachers in MY PROVINCE to fill that many spaces. (SO OBVIOUSLY IN MY PREVIOUS REPLY WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT THERE WAS DAILY PARKING ON THE TOP LEVEL, HE JUST IGNORED THAT COMPLETELY. AND THE FACT THAT I USED THE WORD STAFF AND NOT TEACHER. BECAUSE ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS, THERE ARE MORE THAN JUST TEACHERS RUNNING THE INSTITUTE. MAYBE HIS READING AND COMMON SENSE SKILLS ARE AS ADVANCED AS HIS WRITING. WHO KNOWS.)
From: MY WORK
Date: Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:31:05 -0700
To: Idiot<im-an-idiot@idiotmail.com>
Subject: RE: Re:
Good afternoon;
Yes, in person. You can pay cash for the first month and deposit when you set it up, but we do require a credit card for the contract to deduct every month after that. (NOW I USED THE WORD REQUIRE. NOT LIKE, OR PREFER, OR ANY OTHER AMBIGUOUS TERM THAT MAY SOUND CONFUSING.)
The top level of the new parkade is for daily parking (I’M REPEATING MYSELF HERE. I LOVE DOING THAT, ESPECIALLY SINCE HE COULD’VE JUST READ MY EMAIL AGAIN AND GOTTEN THIS INFORMATION). Level 2 and 3 are for staff. There are many types of staff members working at SCHOOL (I FELT I HAD TO SPECIFY THIS, SADLY, SINCE HE OBVIOUSLY IS UNAWARE THAT A CAMPUS IS FULL OF PEOPLE THAT ARE NEITHER ATTENDING NOR TEACHING CLASS), and they are the ones entitled to the passes for this lot.
Thank you;
MY FABULOUS SIGNATURE
From: Idiot [mailto:im-an-idiot@idiotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 04, 2010 11:06 AM
To: MY WORK
Subject: Re:
No I think you miss the point (OBVIOUSLY. I MEAN, YOU COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE THE ONE MISSING THE POINT HERE RIGHT?). I’m not interested in using a credit card (I DON’T RECALL ASKING IF YOU WERE). Can I pay with cash only? (UM, NO. WILL YOU READ THE PREVIOUS EMAIL AGAIN. I USED THAT REQUIRE WORD UP THERE) And as far as staff being the only ones “entitled” (OOOHHH, QUOTE MARKS) perhaps they should look at who’s actually footing the bill. That would be the “STUDENT” and the “TAXPAYER”! (HEY, YOU KNOW WHO PAYS TAXES TOO? STAFF MEMBERS!!!! )Perhaps that’s the only people “permited” but certainly not the only ones entitled. (THAT’S THE ONLY PEOPLE? YOU MEAN THEY’RE THE ONLY PEOPLE, RIGHT?) If you don’t want to know my opinion then please don’t give me yours. (I’M PRETTY SURE STATING FACT AS TO OUR POLICY ISN’T THE SAME AS STATING MY OPINION, WHICH WOULD’VE BEEN VERY DIFFERENT AS INDICATED BY MY COMMENTS HERE) Try a little customer service out. Your customers will love it! (THEY DO LOVE IT. YOU KNOW WHO LOVES IT THE MOST? THE POOR TEACHERS AND INSTRUCTORS WHO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH JERKS LIKE YOU ALL THE TIME. SO YES, THEY GET ONE FRACTION OF THE PARKING ON CAMPUS DEDICATED TO THEM. THEY WORK HERE, AND PAY A LOT OF MONEY TO PARK HERE. MORE THAN THE STUDENTS DO. SO PLEASE, TAKE THAT FALSE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT YOU HAVE, SHOVE IT, AND TAKE TRANSIT. )
I didn’t bother replying to his last email. It was obvious he was just looking to get in a argument about our policy, which was unacceptable to him. I didn’t care enough to bother. I thought my time would be better spent posting this to my site and adding all the lovely stuff I wish I could’ve told him.
Happy Friday everyone!
I always enjoyed dealing with those schmucks via email. This one would have gotten a great response from me but, as most people know, you’re better than I am and managed not to reply.
Love you baby!