In a previous Random Rant I expressed my hate for some commercials. Sadly, not much has changed, except of course that there are now new stupid commercials for me to bitch about.

Before I go on, I have to give kudos to an awesome commercial. It’s the new Old Spice commercial. If you haven’t seen it yet, watch it here.

I would wager a bet to say that a woman came up with this idea. Seriously, when Zaal and I saw this, neither one of us could look away, and we burst into laughter after it was done. It captivated my attention. It’s clever, the man is very attractive and, sadly, is not my man. I love my husband, but let’s be honest, this guy is hot. It’s not contrived, like other commercials looking to use sex appeal. It’s an unknown guy showcasing random predominantly female fantasies. And some male ones too I’m sure.

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The radio is on in the background and the DJ is attempting to make conversation with his “audience” by asking people to call in with what people do that annoy them when they go see a movie in theaters.

To be honest, and not surprisingly, many things annoy me at the movies. In a perfect world I would own my own theater and I wouldn’t have to tolerate other people at all when I’m trying to get lost in a world and story that is not my own. Someday I will have my own in home theater in my basement. I will have seats with drink holders and a little table for the popcorn bowl. I will be the host of many awesome marathons. Only a select few will be invited. A girl can dream can’t she? Geez.

Sure there’s the annoying ass behind me that kicks my seat. I hate that. Holy baby jeebus do I ever. People who keep crossing and uncrossing their legs with no regard for the unstable crazy lady in front should be shot.

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I’m not into the Olympics. If you are, you probably don’t want to read this.

I hate them in fact. For many reasons.

1. I don’t get the point. I’m not into sports and I don’t care for people who are. Certain ones don’t bother me as much. Soccer and Basketball maybe. But sports like boxing or hockey, where the guys spend half their time knocking each others teeth out, I just can’t get into.

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I love the Starbucks at my work. I just went there today and felt inspired to write this (remarkably cheesy) poem. Enjoy.

ODE TO STARBUCKS

I love the cold drinks, And I love the hots;
I especially love it, When you give me free shots.

I pay for a Grande, You give me a Venti;
You reward my loyalty, With caffeine a plenty.

Your ladies are lovely, They call me by my name;
I frequent other Bucks, But they’re just not the same.

So here’s to you, Starbucks, Thanks for making my day;
Even with your high prices, I’d have it no other way.

Ok, so I’m being a little facetious with the title statement of this post. I have to deal with a great deal of BS at my job. I work as an office assistant in a parking office. On a college campus. A trades college no less.

I have to deal with people at the window, on an intercom, I get to take most of the phone calls and emails. I decided to post an exchange I had with one of these delightful creatures via email. This one is a student.

To call this guy a “douche” would be an insult to douches everywhere. They, at least, are useful. They exist to serve a purpose.

This idiot does not.

I have changed the names and taken out any identifying parts and replaced them with my generic capital letter words. Anything in brackets ( ) will be my own comments. Believe me, I have plenty of commentary that I was unable to pass on to this idiot because it would be unprofessional and may in fact come back to bite me later.

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From: Idiot [im-an-idiot@idiotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 04, 2010 9:57 AM
To: MY WORK EMAIL
Subject:

Hello. I will be attending SCHOOL from Feb 8 through to mid April. I would like to purchase a monthly pass but am having trouble locating rates. Am I able to use the new lot (underground) and if so what are the rates and how to I pay? (HOW TO YOU PAY? WELL, I TON’T KNOW) Can I do it online yada yada. (YOU FORGOT THE 3RD YADA. JEEZ, IF YOU’RE GOING TO RIP OFF A POP CULTURE SAYING, DO IT RIGHT.)

Thanks

Idiot

From: MY WORK

Date: Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:53:29 -0700

To: Idiot<im-an-idiot@idiotmail.com>

Subject: RE:

Good morning; (MY ATTEMPT TO BE COURTEOUS. WHAT A MISTAKE THAT WAS)

All passes for our lots must be purchased in person at the parking office with a valid SCHOOL Id and credit card.

Unfortunately, (SEE, I EXPRESSED REGRET. WHICH I DIDN’T EVEN FEEL. I WAS FAKING IT, AND LIKE ALL MEN, HE DIDN’T KNOW) we do not sell passes for the underground to students. Staff are the only ones eligible for a pass in that lot. There is daily parking on the top level for 12$ a day.

We have P1 and P3 passes available however if you would be interested in purchasing one. (I GAVE HIM OTHER OPTIONS. I DIDN’T JUST SHATTER HIS DREAM AND WALK AWAY.) We do sell our passes on a calendar month basis.

Thank you;

MY FABULOUS SIGNATURE

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