Archive for January 31st, 2010

Living With Zaal

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

This is for all you gaming widows out there. Here are a few steps that may just help you get closer to your gamer, and maybe even avoid some unnecessary arguments.

Step 1:  When he puts on his headset, don’t bother talking to him unless it’s to let him know the place is on fire. Or a trip to the ER is required.

Step 2:  While he’s on teamspeak AKA he’s talking to other guys ignoring their significant others, don’t harp. Do you know how many stupid conversations he’s had to listen to while you were on the phone with your friends?

Step 3:  You know how he’ll start talking about his latest game conquest, or some raid he has to do at 5pm, ect… and you just don’t have a clue what he’s talking about? Or you don’t care? Just pretend. Nod and smile. “That’s great honey, good luck!” Chances are you’ve talked his ear off about some bitch at work, or your shoes, or your hair. Did he care? Maybe not. Did he listen? I hope so. If he was wearing his headset, he probably didn’t even hear you.

Step 4:  Have you ever found yourself trying to talk to him while he’s playing, and he just didn’t seem to be responsive? Or his response was aggressive or short and it made you want to slap him? How dare he be short with me? Chances are he was in the middle of a big fight he wasn’t quite sure he was going to win and you were breaking his concentration. If you want his attention, here are a couple of things to look at before talking to him: Are there a lot of dudes crowded around something that looks evil? Don’t talk to him yet. Are there lots and lots of colors and lights floating around? Don’t talk to him. Is he typing a lot and clicking the mouse rather aggressively? Don’t talk to him yet. Is his little dude just running aimlessly through the woods, and there’s nothing else around? You’re good. Is his dude pounding on something, maybe a rock or a tree? And there’s nothing else around? You’re good. Is there a lot of little boxes with pictures of meat and bottles and it says “inventory” at the top of the big square? You’re good. Unless he’s clicking like a crazy person, then that means he’s trying to equip something really fast to try and kill the big thing that’s about to kill him. In that case, wait a minute or two. He’ll probably die, and then you have a couple of seconds before he resurrects.

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Posted in Random Rants |

Review: The Book Of Eli

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

I went to this movie expecting to hate it. It’s been getting bad reviews, and I can understand why. It’s a religious movie, more specifically Christian, and it’s not trying to pretend it isn’t.

I am not Christian, and I do not believe in the Christian God. I don’t believe in vampires or elves either, but I still like movies about them.

I didn’t hate “Eli”. It’s religious without being preachy. I actually liked it, and let me tell you why.

I watch movies for many reasons. I’m no longer watching them purely for entertainment. If I see a trailer for a movie and it sparks my interest, I’ll go see it or rent it. I want to know how the story will unfold. I want to see how the actors performances compare to previous movies or T.V. shows I may have seen them in. But most of all, I watch them with the hope that I’ll be surprised.

I’ve seen so many movies that I can generally tell you what’s going to happen next and how it will end. Most of them run on a formula based on a genre.

This movie surprised me at the end. It has the “twist” ending it claims to have. The hints are there throughout the movie, but until you get to the end and realize how the whole thing was possible, you’re just not sure.

Eli (Denzel Washington) is the hero of the movie, he’s a walker who travels alone in a post-war world where civilization has ceased to exist and people are starting over with the bare essentials. Either you fend for yourself, or you get a group together and take advantage of weaker travelers.

Eli is on his way west when a stop in Carnegie’s (Gary Oldman) town brings him trouble he just can’t shake off. Eli is in possession of the book Carnegie has been searching for, and he wants it. Eli does not want to part with it, and so the story unfolds.

The book in question is the King James Bible. Where Eli would use the book for the good in was intended for, Carnegie wants to use it for the bad it’s been banned for. He wants to use it to control people and profit from their fear and faith.

There’s action, which kind of surprised me. Denzel kicks some ass in this. A lot of it is slow going, and there are moments of scripture dictation. I could’ve lived without some of the slow motion walking. There were however some comic relief, which for a movie like this is very much needed.

I wouldn’t recommend this movie to any of my friends. It’s not for everyone. I don’t plan on seeing it again, but I appreciated it for what it was. Some people will be so annoyed and  against the religious undertones that they will not be able to appreciate the movie itself for what it is: FICTION.

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Posted in Movies |