Let me start by saying that I’m not a bitter single woman who is going to bash Valentine’s day because I have no one to celebrate it with and therefore am against the holiday for it. I’m happily married. I’ve been with my husband for over 9 years and married for almost 6. I still think Valentine’s day is kinda bullshit.
I believe that if a couple is really in love, they should celebrate it often, and at random. Not because the day on the calendar dictates that they should. Anything that forces a man (let’s be honest, V day is mostly a woman’s holiday) to go to the store to buy flowers and candy for fear that the significant other is going to be upset is just plain dumb. It’s asking for trouble.
I understand the initial novelty of the day. If you’ve been single for a long time and suddenly you find yourself coupled up on V day, great. Have at it. Or you’re a young teenage couple and suddenly V day isn’t just about passing around cardboard with cartoons and clever sayings on it. It’s about kissing a boy or a girl and getting your first Valentine’s day flowers. Both those experiences meant a lot to me and I treasure them.
However, I’m a little older now and maybe a little (ok, a lot) more cynical. I don’t like the idea. Not because Valentine’s day itself is wrong. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating love. I just think it should be done all the time. And I don’t think that someone should be obligated to show their love and affection on a specific day.
I’d rather have flowers when I don’t expect them. I’d rather be surprised with my favorite chocolates (Bernard Callebeau, yum) when I don’t expect it. Because it means he thought of me that day. Not because someone asked “Hey, did you get your wife anything for Valentine’s day?” but because he thought of me and wanted to make a gesture.
Maybe there are men out there who would get no greater joy than to dish out some cash to put a smile on their woman’s faces (and hopefully get some, ahem) specifically on Valentine’s day. Maybe there are men out there who are just so grateful someone’s willing to sleep with them that they’ll do anything to make their woman happy.
If you have such a man, congratulations. I don’t, and I don’t care to because such men would bore the crap out of me. Predictability in a relationship isn’t fun for me. Don’t get me wrong, I know my husband very well. But I don’t always know when he’s going to give me tokens of affection and I sure don’t expect them from him. If I don’t get flowers or chocolates on February 14th, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.
I’ve just never met a man who’s said “I love Valentine’s day. Boy oh boy!” Those are the men I’m standing up for right now. The one’s who don’t particularly care for the day, but have to fulfill these obligations and expectations because it’s expected of them.