This is for Janice. Here is a list of movies that feature Mr. Norton without a shirt. Now, I know it sounds like we’re objectifying the man. We are. He’s sexy. With no shirt, he’s even sexier. Even while donning a swastika in one of his movies, the man is just plain sexy.
So here they are:
- American History X: He plays a skin head who reforms and realizes the error of his ways. It’s a great movie. Made even greater by a very buff, shirtless, Edward Norton.
- Fight Club: He plays a car dealer employee who resorts to acquiring an imaginary friend/dual personality in order to cope with his own mundane existence. It’s one of my favorite movies. Yes Brad Pitt is also shirtless in this movie. But who cares. Norton trumps Pitt for me any day.
- Death to Smoochy: In this one, he’s a giant pink rhinoceros singing children’s songs. It’s a black comedy. It’s pretty funny, but a little strange. The shirtless part is very brief, but worth it. Mmmhmmm.
- Down in the Valley: So this is a really weird, kind of disturbing movie. My friend Janice and I watched it (we were just starting to hang out) simply because he’s in it. We kept yelling “take off your shirt” the entire time. And he did! It was a bonding experience for us. It brought us closer together as friends. Now it’s kind of an inside joke. Every time we see Edward Norton, the impulse to yell “take off your shirt” is really strong.
- The illusionist: Ok, so no shirtless Norton in this one. But the movie is great, and there’s a scene where Jessica Biel is blabbing about something and Bang! He shuts her up with a kiss. Man, to be Jessica Biel in that instant. Oh yeah.
- The Hulk: Janice and I went to it together, and I jokingly said that all I wanted was for the opening scene to be a shirtless Edward Norton. I didn’t think it would really be the opening scene. Wouldn’t you know it? It was! And many shirtless moments occurred as well. Sure sometimes he was CGI and green, but scrumptious nonetheless.